kcohs erutluc

It's been one month since I've returned from my year in China. Within a week, I found myself in the midst of reverse culture shock. I was hoping to bypass that, as it has a horrible reputation. There I stood among 250 loud, proud Americans in a crowded country western bar. What I thought was going to be a relaxing night of jazz music at a classy piano bar ended up being quite opposite. Cowboy hats, boots, belt buckles, blinking beer signs, clanking beer mugs, Texas and America paraphernalia hanging all over the place, and two redneck pianists belting out (rather well, in fact) our favorite country western tunes, along with some classic 90s rock anthems. Texas college fight songs rang out through the place as well. Every now and then, the waitresses would rally and line dance to the crowd's request. I had never been to Pete's Piano Bar, and I'm not sure I'll ever go back. Ha. It wasn't the crowd that made we want to vomit, and country music doesn't bother me that much; it was all those Americans in one room, all that culture. I was feeling so emotionally and physically claustrophobic. The next day was not a good day. I had a minor nervous breakdown, one in which is hard to describe to those who have not experienced it for themselves. I had acquired a migraine, and I wanted to spend the entire day alone in a large, quiet room. I only lasted about thirty minutes in Pete's; most of my time was spent sitting on the curb outside chatting with friends on the phone to pass the time, while the rest of the people I came with stayed inside. Needless to say, I have stayed away from large crowds and the Texas store at Deerbrook Mall.

This month has been an interesting transition. I have been able to reconnect with old friends, but there have been some with whom it has been a struggle to reconnect with, and at times, a bit awkward. I hate to see that happen, but this past year has brought much change.

I sit around the table with my friends, and I feel as though I don't fit in. I can only share so many stories before sounding like an old man who does nothing but talk about life in the war. As I'm struggling to re-adapt, others around me are struggling in their own ways as well, and I need to remember that.

While others might look at my experience and think they wished they had had the opportunity to live a year abroad, they are naive to the loneliness that has spawned since returning home. I fear a lack of inspiration here in America.

The Lord gave me a spiritual epiphany through yet another interesting analogy the last days I was in China to carry me through this awkward time of transition. Some of you might already know this story. :) A few friends and I were on our way to see a Broadway presentation of Hairspray at the Shanghai Grand Theater. We had some time to spare once we got there, so we decided to walk around in the underground markets. Suddenly, the feeling came upon me. My stomach was beginning to cramp up, and I didn't bring any Immodium. I wanted to hold out as long as possible, knowing that my chances of locating a western toilet would be quite slim. Besides, the Grand Theater would have western toilets for sure... Five minutes go by, and my body is letting me know the Grand Theater is not an option. It was then I knew I would have to use a squatty potty. I found the nearest restroom, and of course, there was a line. Once it was the woman's turn in front of me, she wouldn't budge, turning around to look at me as if to say, you can go ahead. In hindsight, I now know why. I risked the already typical American stereotype and rushed ahead of the statue. I opened the newly vacant stall, and to my surprise, there before me was a glorious western toilet! I took my purse and set it on the back of the toilet; I thought I'd really take my time. Ha. The only problem was that I hadn't brought my toilet paper with me that night. I dug around in my purse searching for anything that would suffice. I was forced to use a spa brochure as makeshift toilet paper... a little rough and uncomfortable, but it got the job done!

This showed me that just when we surrender to do something we absolutely don't want to do, the Lord can provide a western toilet in our lives. Life is definitely unexpected. I never liked to use public restrooms, but after having lived in China, the bathroom at the truck stop is mighty fine.

I'm waiting on my western toilet this year. So, although I am unsure of things at this point in my life, I know the Lord is sovereign and will take care of me, especially when I feel like I'm about to explode... no pun intended.... gross. :)

Beth Moore says, "We are going to most believe what we most rehearse, so rehearse praise!"