It's been one month since I've returned from my year in China. Within a week, I found myself in the midst of reverse culture shock. I was hoping to bypass that, as it has a horrible reputation. There I stood among 250 loud, proud Americans in a crowded country western bar. What I thought was going to be a relaxing night of jazz music at a classy piano bar ended up being quite opposite. Cowboy hats, boots, belt buckles, blinking beer signs, clanking beer mugs, Texas and America paraphernalia hanging all over the place, and two redneck pianists belting out (rather well, in fact) our favorite country western tunes, along with some classic 90s rock anthems. Texas college fight songs rang out through the place as well. Every now and then, the waitresses would rally and line dance to the crowd's request. I had never been to Pete's Piano Bar, and I'm not sure I'll ever go back. Ha. It wasn't the crowd that made we want to vomit, and country music doesn't bother me that much; it was all those Americans in one room, all that culture. I was feeling so emotionally and physically claustrophobic. The next day was not a good day. I had a minor nervous breakdown, one in which is hard to describe to those who have not experienced it for themselves. I had acquired a migraine, and I wanted to spend the entire day alone in a large, quiet room. I only lasted about thirty minutes in Pete's; most of my time was spent sitting on the curb outside chatting with friends on the phone to pass the time, while the rest of the people I came with stayed inside. Needless to say, I have stayed away from large crowds and the Texas store at Deerbrook Mall.
This month has been an interesting transition. I have been able to reconnect with old friends, but there have been some with whom it has been a struggle to reconnect with, and at times, a bit awkward. I hate to see that happen, but this past year has brought much change.
I sit around the table with my friends, and I feel as though I don't fit in. I can only share so many stories before sounding like an old man who does nothing but talk about life in the war. As I'm struggling to re-adapt, others around me are struggling in their own ways as well, and I need to remember that.
While others might look at my experience and think they wished they had had the opportunity to live a year abroad, they are naive to the loneliness that has spawned since returning home. I fear a lack of inspiration here in America.
The Lord gave me a spiritual epiphany through yet another interesting analogy the last days I was in China to carry me through this awkward time of transition. Some of you might already know this story. :) A few friends and I were on our way to see a Broadway presentation of Hairspray at the Shanghai Grand Theater. We had some time to spare once we got there, so we decided to walk around in the underground markets. Suddenly, the feeling came upon me. My stomach was beginning to cramp up, and I didn't bring any Immodium. I wanted to hold out as long as possible, knowing that my chances of locating a western toilet would be quite slim. Besides, the Grand Theater would have western toilets for sure... Five minutes go by, and my body is letting me know the Grand Theater is not an option. It was then I knew I would have to use a squatty potty. I found the nearest restroom, and of course, there was a line. Once it was the woman's turn in front of me, she wouldn't budge, turning around to look at me as if to say, you can go ahead. In hindsight, I now know why. I risked the already typical American stereotype and rushed ahead of the statue. I opened the newly vacant stall, and to my surprise, there before me was a glorious western toilet! I took my purse and set it on the back of the toilet; I thought I'd really take my time. Ha. The only problem was that I hadn't brought my toilet paper with me that night. I dug around in my purse searching for anything that would suffice. I was forced to use a spa brochure as makeshift toilet paper... a little rough and uncomfortable, but it got the job done!
This showed me that just when we surrender to do something we absolutely don't want to do, the Lord can provide a western toilet in our lives. Life is definitely unexpected. I never liked to use public restrooms, but after having lived in China, the bathroom at the truck stop is mighty fine.
I'm waiting on my western toilet this year. So, although I am unsure of things at this point in my life, I know the Lord is sovereign and will take care of me, especially when I feel like I'm about to explode... no pun intended.... gross. :)
Beth Moore says, "We are going to most believe what we most rehearse, so rehearse praise!"
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
upon returning home
In 1995, my mother did something she had always wanted to do. She had always dreamed of going skydiving at some point in her life. Little did she know, that 'sometime' would come in the form of a Christmas present that year. Her time had come. For those of you who know my mother, the last thing you'd think she'd want to do is jump from a plane... at will. Mom is not that adventurous. Her idea of adventure is braving the crowds at Wal-Mart.
Dad and I just knew she'd chicken out, especially after all those medical forms she had to fill out - "If in the event that death should occur...", and after the training videos we had to sit through. Finally, she was ready. She was going tandem, so that made us all feel a bit better. We watched the plane go up. We looked for Mom's parachute to open. What we didn't know was that Mom and her instructor would be jumping last. As other parachutes would open, our hearts would skip a beat, hoping that Mom wasn't plummeting to her death. Finally, her chute opened, just as planned.
Once she had made it down safely, we ran over to where Mom and her instructor had landed. With a smile painted across her face, she gave us the thumbs up! Her hands were a bit shaky, but she was more than willing to do it again.
Looking at pictures and video of my mother, it was hard to believe she actually did that... Who would want to do something like that? Can that actually be fun?
My parents and I had these same thoughts as I made my move to China. My time overseas was much like my mother's experience in skydiving. Leaving the United States, I was thinking, "What AM I thinking?"... I knew I had wanted to live in a foreign country, and though I seemed prepared to jump, I wasn't sure if I'd actually make it. And I wasn't going tandem - I had to do this all on my own, which made things a bit more complicated and much more crucial. Once you jump, there's no turning back. You can't climb your way back in to the plane. The first few months in China I was free-falling, waiting for my parachute of acclimation and know-how to open up so I could soar through the rest of the year and enjoy the view without the nausea and the whipping wind. Once I adjusted, there were moments of turbulence, but overall, the ride was incredible... Skydivers rarely land where they are projected to; it's virtually impossible. I, too, did not land in the same spot from where I started, spiritually and emotionally speaking. I am a different person in these aspects. I have hit the ground running, like skydivers must do as it makes the landing much softer and easier. Life has continued since I've been away. I have to move on and keep things going for my next phase of life, taking my experiences and learning from them. My hands are a little shaky, but I am more than willing to do it all again.
Folks do this kind of thing all the time (both skydiving and living abroad), but that initial plunge requires a sick individual. Heh. Though I have been away for a year, China went as fast as a skydiving jump. It really feels like a dream. My time in the sky is over, and I'm back on solid ground.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
calendar of events
July 15: Arrive in HOUSTON! This will be home, for now.
July 17: Welcome Home BBQ get-together at my parent's house
(Email me if you haven't received the evite so I can send you one)
Dallas friends purposely didn't get the BBQ evite.... keep reading, Dallas.
July 23, 24: HOT SPRINGS
Starbucks! for two days straight! ha
July 25 - August whenever: DALLAS
That first weekend - I'd like to get a group together and do something, so someone email me some good ideas.
October 8 - 12: NW ARKANSAS (the JBU Choir Alumni weekend)
Fayetteville and Siloam Springs
Abundant Life COG on Sunday morning!
If you're not in any of these places, don't feel cheated... we'll work something out. :)
It's going to be so good to see all of you; I've missed you.
*Please don't forget to email me with your cell phone number when you get the chance*
July 17: Welcome Home BBQ get-together at my parent's house
(Email me if you haven't received the evite so I can send you one)
Dallas friends purposely didn't get the BBQ evite.... keep reading, Dallas.
July 23, 24: HOT SPRINGS
Starbucks! for two days straight! ha
July 25 - August whenever: DALLAS
That first weekend - I'd like to get a group together and do something, so someone email me some good ideas.
October 8 - 12: NW ARKANSAS (the JBU Choir Alumni weekend)
Fayetteville and Siloam Springs
Abundant Life COG on Sunday morning!
If you're not in any of these places, don't feel cheated... we'll work something out. :)
It's going to be so good to see all of you; I've missed you.
*Please don't forget to email me with your cell phone number when you get the chance*
Thursday, June 12, 2008
a bicycle, a box and a brainstorm binge
A bicycle.
"Hello, Teacher," said a chubby boy on a bicycle.
I didn't see him coming; I was in debriefing mode as I was walking home from a tutoring session one early evening. "Hello," I responded, though not sure if the boy had heard me, as he was riding by at a decent speed. His greeting stuck with me the remainder of my walk. It was if I had somehow strangely forgotten I was a teacher, and he was there to remind me. It was as if I needed to hear it from an unfamiliar voice. Teacher Emily.... that's me. I took a sense of confidence in that title, almost an ungodly amount of pride, to be quite honest.
Enter first brainstorm here: my mind suddenly paralleled this title to the titles we have received in Chr-st; the titles we so often forget... the titles we have to dust off every now and then when we're discouraged and dismal. Loved Emily. Forgiven Emily. Accepted Emily. Redeemed Emily. New Creation Emily. Freed Emily. Chr-stian Emily. If only we were addressed by these names on a daily basis, how altered our lives might actually be... one can hope, at least.
A box.
Just shy of a week later, I had prepared a sandbox for my afterschool class filled with... sand, among other things, namely 10 chocolate coins and some plastic letters (I was to teach the children about coins. We were going to have a coin digging competition for one of the activities). So as to keep the children focused on the introductory part of the lesson, I had the box covered with a beach towel. I began to ask the children what they thought could be stowed under the towel.
Once the first student deduced "a box", I began to pry them for ideas about what was inside the box. "Turtles!" one shouted. "Water!" said another. "Bugs!!" declared a boy. Finally, one girl raised her hand. "G-d?" I was quite astounded, though I simply replied literally and without hesitation, "Good try, Connie, but we can't put G-d in a box."
Enter the second brainstorm here: Though the words were leaving my mouth, I was eating them right back up again. "She's right, Emily," He said. "You can't put Me in a box, can you?"
These epiphanies, these moments of vision... it's not so much what was said (as it's all very elementary), but Who gave the words and how they were given... so random, yet perfectly timed.
Matthew 21:16 says, "...and [they] said to Him, "Do You hear what these children are saying?" And Jesus said to them, "Yes; have you never read, 'Out of the mouths of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise for yourself'?" Through these two instances with students at the school, I am giving praise to my Father. One way or another, He will receive the praise. How incredibly powerful... I love when He speaks.
"Hello, Teacher," said a chubby boy on a bicycle.
I didn't see him coming; I was in debriefing mode as I was walking home from a tutoring session one early evening. "Hello," I responded, though not sure if the boy had heard me, as he was riding by at a decent speed. His greeting stuck with me the remainder of my walk. It was if I had somehow strangely forgotten I was a teacher, and he was there to remind me. It was as if I needed to hear it from an unfamiliar voice. Teacher Emily.... that's me. I took a sense of confidence in that title, almost an ungodly amount of pride, to be quite honest.
Enter first brainstorm here: my mind suddenly paralleled this title to the titles we have received in Chr-st; the titles we so often forget... the titles we have to dust off every now and then when we're discouraged and dismal. Loved Emily. Forgiven Emily. Accepted Emily. Redeemed Emily. New Creation Emily. Freed Emily. Chr-stian Emily. If only we were addressed by these names on a daily basis, how altered our lives might actually be... one can hope, at least.
A box.
Just shy of a week later, I had prepared a sandbox for my afterschool class filled with... sand, among other things, namely 10 chocolate coins and some plastic letters (I was to teach the children about coins. We were going to have a coin digging competition for one of the activities). So as to keep the children focused on the introductory part of the lesson, I had the box covered with a beach towel. I began to ask the children what they thought could be stowed under the towel.
Once the first student deduced "a box", I began to pry them for ideas about what was inside the box. "Turtles!" one shouted. "Water!" said another. "Bugs!!" declared a boy. Finally, one girl raised her hand. "G-d?" I was quite astounded, though I simply replied literally and without hesitation, "Good try, Connie, but we can't put G-d in a box."
Enter the second brainstorm here: Though the words were leaving my mouth, I was eating them right back up again. "She's right, Emily," He said. "You can't put Me in a box, can you?"
These epiphanies, these moments of vision... it's not so much what was said (as it's all very elementary), but Who gave the words and how they were given... so random, yet perfectly timed.
Matthew 21:16 says, "...and [they] said to Him, "Do You hear what these children are saying?" And Jesus said to them, "Yes; have you never read, 'Out of the mouths of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise for yourself'?" Through these two instances with students at the school, I am giving praise to my Father. One way or another, He will receive the praise. How incredibly powerful... I love when He speaks.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A State of Mourning and Alert
A State of Mourning
The faculty and staff received this email shortly after lunch today, along with some earthquake survival tips:
各位同仁：
根据中国政府的公告，从5月19日起到5月21日，是中国的哀悼日，以悼念四川汶川地区大地震死难的人民。为此学校决定哀悼日中全校降半旗致哀，5月19日下午2：28将和全国人民一起默哀三分钟，今天下午2：25时，全校将通过广播告知各位，请大家组织好学生在原地肃立、低首、默哀。我们公司凡是工作上许可的，一律参加全国的3分钟默哀，
请大家做好准备。在此期间将全校停止一切娱乐活动，特此告示。
校长 郑延定
2008．5．19
Dear all:
The government announced an official three day mourning period starting Monday (May 19-May 21) in memory of people killed in the powerful earthquake in WenChuan Arean SiChuan Province. The national flags at our school will fly at half-staff and join the three minutes of silence at 2:28pm with the whole country today. We will announce the event at 2:25pm through school PA System. Please organize all your students to Stand up, Bow and Keep Silence for three minutes while horns of vehicles, trains, ships and air raid sirens wail in grief. All public recreational activities in School will be canceled.
Principal Yanding Zheng
May 19, 2008
Today is exactly one week after the earthquake struck the nation of China. Please keep our country in your thoughts*.
A State of Alert
Children under 8 years old are facing a scary time and heightened alert as an epidemic called Hand, Foot and Mouth disease is showing up in Kindergartens across this city and in others.
From the International Herald Tribune --
"BEIJING: The death toll rose to 43 from the hand, foot and mouth disease virus that has sickened tens of thousands of children across China, a report said Friday.
A 22-month-old girl from eastern Jiangxi province died Thursday in a local hospital, health officials told the state-run Xinhua News Agency.
As of Wednesday, the hand, foot and mouth disease virus had sickened more than 24,934 children in seven Chinese provinces plus Beijing, Xinhua reported.
The number was expected to continue rising after the state Health Ministry last week ordered health care providers to report cases within 24 hours.
The virus has been yet another major concern for Chinese authorities as they prepare for the Beijing Olympics in August. Cases have been reported from Guangdong province in the south to Jilin province in the northeast, and in major cities including Beijing and Shanghai.
Three people in Jiangxi province remain in critical condition from the virus, Xinhua reported Friday.
Most cases of hand, foot and mouth disease in China this year have been blamed on enterovirus 71.
The virus spreads through contact with saliva, feces, nose and throat mucus or fluid secreted from blisters. There is no vaccine or specific treatment, but most children with mild forms of the illness recover quickly after suffering little more than a fever and rash.
The disease is expected to peak in the hot months of June and July."
As a result of this, sinks have been placed outside of our Kindergarten. All students must wash their hands (using a detailed procedure that even the faculty and staff had to be trained on) and visit the nurse for a quick morning check-up before attending class. Teachers must also wash their hands at these sinks before entering as well. The Shanghai Government Authorites have requested that all major functions that involve the gatherings of parents and children in a small compact space be cancelled. Our classroom observations by the parents were scheduled for last Thursday, but have been postponed indefinitely. We have an annual International Day scheduled for Saturday, May 31. No news yet has been given as to whether or not it will still be taking place. We are assuming as of now that this event will continue. Logic tells us we should cancel it, but the way the Chinese teachers are still busy with decorations and planning, we are assuming it is still scheduled as normal... We are yarping* that the children can still participate in Kindergarten graduation on June 12th.
Children over the age of 8 years apparently have a stronger and more developed immune system to fight off the virus. This disease is very uncommon in adults, though one may contract it.
For more information on this disease, please visit the Center for Disease Control and Protection website at: www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/enterovirus/hfhf.htm.
So much is happening in China right now...
*As I was ending this entry, the three minutes of silence began. It was such a chilling feeling to hear the car horns outside as they were the only ones wailing in mourning for those who lost their lives last week. It's a hard thing to describe, the fact that I am being able to experience some of this first hand... wow.
One more quick piece of lighter news -
The Olympic torch will be ran a few blocks away in ZhangJiang tomorrow afternoon (this is the suburb of Shanghai where I teach)! However, the teachers and I won't be able to see it since it will be ran during the school day... bummer.
The faculty and staff received this email shortly after lunch today, along with some earthquake survival tips:
各位同仁：
根据中国政府的公告，从5月19日起到5月21日，是中国的哀悼日，以悼念四川汶川地区大地震死难的人民。为此学校决定哀悼日中全校降半旗致哀，5月19日下午2：28将和全国人民一起默哀三分钟，今天下午2：25时，全校将通过广播告知各位，请大家组织好学生在原地肃立、低首、默哀。我们公司凡是工作上许可的，一律参加全国的3分钟默哀，
请大家做好准备。在此期间将全校停止一切娱乐活动，特此告示。
校长 郑延定
2008．5．19
Dear all:
The government announced an official three day mourning period starting Monday (May 19-May 21) in memory of people killed in the powerful earthquake in WenChuan Arean SiChuan Province. The national flags at our school will fly at half-staff and join the three minutes of silence at 2:28pm with the whole country today. We will announce the event at 2:25pm through school PA System. Please organize all your students to Stand up, Bow and Keep Silence for three minutes while horns of vehicles, trains, ships and air raid sirens wail in grief. All public recreational activities in School will be canceled.
Principal Yanding Zheng
May 19, 2008
Today is exactly one week after the earthquake struck the nation of China. Please keep our country in your thoughts*.
A State of Alert
Children under 8 years old are facing a scary time and heightened alert as an epidemic called Hand, Foot and Mouth disease is showing up in Kindergartens across this city and in others.
From the International Herald Tribune --
"BEIJING: The death toll rose to 43 from the hand, foot and mouth disease virus that has sickened tens of thousands of children across China, a report said Friday.
A 22-month-old girl from eastern Jiangxi province died Thursday in a local hospital, health officials told the state-run Xinhua News Agency.
As of Wednesday, the hand, foot and mouth disease virus had sickened more than 24,934 children in seven Chinese provinces plus Beijing, Xinhua reported.
The number was expected to continue rising after the state Health Ministry last week ordered health care providers to report cases within 24 hours.
The virus has been yet another major concern for Chinese authorities as they prepare for the Beijing Olympics in August. Cases have been reported from Guangdong province in the south to Jilin province in the northeast, and in major cities including Beijing and Shanghai.
Three people in Jiangxi province remain in critical condition from the virus, Xinhua reported Friday.
Most cases of hand, foot and mouth disease in China this year have been blamed on enterovirus 71.
The virus spreads through contact with saliva, feces, nose and throat mucus or fluid secreted from blisters. There is no vaccine or specific treatment, but most children with mild forms of the illness recover quickly after suffering little more than a fever and rash.
The disease is expected to peak in the hot months of June and July."
As a result of this, sinks have been placed outside of our Kindergarten. All students must wash their hands (using a detailed procedure that even the faculty and staff had to be trained on) and visit the nurse for a quick morning check-up before attending class. Teachers must also wash their hands at these sinks before entering as well. The Shanghai Government Authorites have requested that all major functions that involve the gatherings of parents and children in a small compact space be cancelled. Our classroom observations by the parents were scheduled for last Thursday, but have been postponed indefinitely. We have an annual International Day scheduled for Saturday, May 31. No news yet has been given as to whether or not it will still be taking place. We are assuming as of now that this event will continue. Logic tells us we should cancel it, but the way the Chinese teachers are still busy with decorations and planning, we are assuming it is still scheduled as normal... We are yarping* that the children can still participate in Kindergarten graduation on June 12th.
Children over the age of 8 years apparently have a stronger and more developed immune system to fight off the virus. This disease is very uncommon in adults, though one may contract it.
For more information on this disease, please visit the Center for Disease Control and Protection website at: www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/enterovirus/hfhf.htm.
So much is happening in China right now...
*As I was ending this entry, the three minutes of silence began. It was such a chilling feeling to hear the car horns outside as they were the only ones wailing in mourning for those who lost their lives last week. It's a hard thing to describe, the fact that I am being able to experience some of this first hand... wow.
One more quick piece of lighter news -
The Olympic torch will be ran a few blocks away in ZhangJiang tomorrow afternoon (this is the suburb of Shanghai where I teach)! However, the teachers and I won't be able to see it since it will be ran during the school day... bummer.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I love birthdays!
Did you know that when you add the four numbers of my birth year together, you get 23? 1+9+8+5 = 23 (some of you may have seen the movie The Number 23... if you haven't, you should).
I looked online for some interesting things about the number 23. It just so happens one website gave me 23 interesting things about the number 23. Here are a few of them.
1. 23 is one of the most commonly cited prime numbers.
2. The number has been the subject of not one but two films: the 1998 German movie, 23, and The Number 23, starring Jim Carrey, released (naturally) today. Each has a main character obsessed with the number.
3. Charles Darwin's Origin of Species was published in 1859 - 1+8+5+9 = 23. Two divided by three makes 0.666 recurring (allegedly - actually it makes 0.6666666667). The Hiroshima bomb was dropped at 8.15am - 8+15= 23.
4. The Ancient Chinese believed numbers conveyed sexuality - evens for feminine and odds for masculine. They considered prime numbers to be the most masculine, conferring special status on 23 which is made up of two consecutive prime numbers and the only even prime number - two.
5. The terrorist attacks on America on 11 September 2001 have been held up as one of the most portentous examples of the disturbing power of 23. The figures in the date (9+11+2+0+0+1) add up to 23. The independent US commission which investigated the attacks found the date had been chosen randomly by the hijackers and had originally been planned for later in the year. Alternative explanations for the date included the taking over of Palestine by Britain in 1922 and the fact that 911 is the US emergency code.
6. Each parent contributes 23 chromosomes to the start of human life. The nuclei of cells in human bodies have 46 chromosomes made out of 23 pairs. Egg and sperm cells in humans have 23 chromosomes which fuse and divide to create an embryo.
7. The Birthday Paradox states that a group of 23 randomly-selected people is the smallest number where there will be a probability higher than 50 per cent that two people will share the same birthday.
8. "W" is the 23rd letter of the Latin alphabet. It has two points down and three points up. White supremacists use 23 to represent "W" as a mark of racial superiority.
I can't believe I've made it to 23. I remember when my cousin Rachel turned 23... My 19-year-old brain thought she was gettin' pretty old. Now, here I am. And to have a birthday in China! How exciting! I was so thankful to have spent my birthday with my new friends. We had a great time -- bowling a couple of rounds, with a game of speed bowling to wrap things up; heading to dinner down the street at TGI Friday's; finally, the remaining friends and I went to Whisk (an amazing little dessert place).
So, how will things be on my 24th birthday? Quite a lot can happen in one year. Last year at this time, I was closing a big chapter in my life with college graduation. This year, I am closing yet another big chapter, though short-lived. I'm excited to see how this next year pans out.
On a rather sad note, while I was celebrating my birthday, thousands of others were mourning and grieving the loss of loved ones, their homes, and their lives. I encourage all of you to please keep those cities and those people in your thoughts*. It is such a sad thing to see so many people in need...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS - random piece of information: Some of you know how I've been bombarded with hints of Spanish as of the past few months... I found out today that the kindergartners will be doing a salsa dance (to a Spanish song, of course) at the Kindergarten Graduation ceremony. Just thought I'd throw that out there for ya. Oh yeah, one more thing... I've been assigned the country of Spain for International Day at the end of May.
I looked online for some interesting things about the number 23. It just so happens one website gave me 23 interesting things about the number 23. Here are a few of them.
1. 23 is one of the most commonly cited prime numbers.
2. The number has been the subject of not one but two films: the 1998 German movie, 23, and The Number 23, starring Jim Carrey, released (naturally) today. Each has a main character obsessed with the number.
3. Charles Darwin's Origin of Species was published in 1859 - 1+8+5+9 = 23. Two divided by three makes 0.666 recurring (allegedly - actually it makes 0.6666666667). The Hiroshima bomb was dropped at 8.15am - 8+15= 23.
4. The Ancient Chinese believed numbers conveyed sexuality - evens for feminine and odds for masculine. They considered prime numbers to be the most masculine, conferring special status on 23 which is made up of two consecutive prime numbers and the only even prime number - two.
5. The terrorist attacks on America on 11 September 2001 have been held up as one of the most portentous examples of the disturbing power of 23. The figures in the date (9+11+2+0+0+1) add up to 23. The independent US commission which investigated the attacks found the date had been chosen randomly by the hijackers and had originally been planned for later in the year. Alternative explanations for the date included the taking over of Palestine by Britain in 1922 and the fact that 911 is the US emergency code.
6. Each parent contributes 23 chromosomes to the start of human life. The nuclei of cells in human bodies have 46 chromosomes made out of 23 pairs. Egg and sperm cells in humans have 23 chromosomes which fuse and divide to create an embryo.
7. The Birthday Paradox states that a group of 23 randomly-selected people is the smallest number where there will be a probability higher than 50 per cent that two people will share the same birthday.
8. "W" is the 23rd letter of the Latin alphabet. It has two points down and three points up. White supremacists use 23 to represent "W" as a mark of racial superiority.
I can't believe I've made it to 23. I remember when my cousin Rachel turned 23... My 19-year-old brain thought she was gettin' pretty old. Now, here I am. And to have a birthday in China! How exciting! I was so thankful to have spent my birthday with my new friends. We had a great time -- bowling a couple of rounds, with a game of speed bowling to wrap things up; heading to dinner down the street at TGI Friday's; finally, the remaining friends and I went to Whisk (an amazing little dessert place).
So, how will things be on my 24th birthday? Quite a lot can happen in one year. Last year at this time, I was closing a big chapter in my life with college graduation. This year, I am closing yet another big chapter, though short-lived. I'm excited to see how this next year pans out.
On a rather sad note, while I was celebrating my birthday, thousands of others were mourning and grieving the loss of loved ones, their homes, and their lives. I encourage all of you to please keep those cities and those people in your thoughts*. It is such a sad thing to see so many people in need...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS - random piece of information: Some of you know how I've been bombarded with hints of Spanish as of the past few months... I found out today that the kindergartners will be doing a salsa dance (to a Spanish song, of course) at the Kindergarten Graduation ceremony. Just thought I'd throw that out there for ya. Oh yeah, one more thing... I've been assigned the country of Spain for International Day at the end of May.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
The Good, The Bad, The Beijing Trip
Well, friends... to be quite honest, I'll never go back to Beijing. Heh.
I'd rather not spend my time complaining about the polluted air and the unfriendly locals. I'd rather not discuss my near nervous breakdown due to the crowds of people in tiny cramped spaces. I'd really like to refrain from a rather long discourse on how I feel the city of Beijing, both its people and the buildings themselves, is in no way ready to host the Olympic games (for various reasons that I will not discuss, like I've discussed).
However... Even though the experience itself was not quite what I had expected, and even though I wore a bare face and am in desperate need of a tan, I was so thrilled to have stood in some of the most famous places on the planet. How insignificant I felt when I walked the Great Wall. How intimidating to stand in a section of the 980 buildings that make up the Forbidden City. How chilling to view the body of one of China's most notorious leaders. How naive I felt to have walked through the Summer Palace, not knowing any of that beauty existed. How athletically inspiring to stand near the Olympic Stadium. I even witnessed these things at a very pivotal point in China's history. Who am I that I would get the chance to do this? And to think, none of the splendor and beauty of these things will last. All of this fades and will perish in light of Him! He is more famous than any of the places where my feet were planted. I thought of this as I was standing in line to see Mao's dead body. I thought, why am I wasting my time to see a man, a man who is called the Son of Heaven?? I know the True Son of Heaven, and this guy ain't him... What an incredible perspective to have in life; to know that we are here for His glory and not for our gain. He chose to allow me to see these things last week so that I might have a greater understanding of who He is and how He is working. If only I could have been thinking this way in my frustrating times last week (sheepish grin).
I'd rather not spend my time complaining about the polluted air and the unfriendly locals. I'd rather not discuss my near nervous breakdown due to the crowds of people in tiny cramped spaces. I'd really like to refrain from a rather long discourse on how I feel the city of Beijing, both its people and the buildings themselves, is in no way ready to host the Olympic games (for various reasons that I will not discuss, like I've discussed).
However... Even though the experience itself was not quite what I had expected, and even though I wore a bare face and am in desperate need of a tan, I was so thrilled to have stood in some of the most famous places on the planet. How insignificant I felt when I walked the Great Wall. How intimidating to stand in a section of the 980 buildings that make up the Forbidden City. How chilling to view the body of one of China's most notorious leaders. How naive I felt to have walked through the Summer Palace, not knowing any of that beauty existed. How athletically inspiring to stand near the Olympic Stadium. I even witnessed these things at a very pivotal point in China's history. Who am I that I would get the chance to do this? And to think, none of the splendor and beauty of these things will last. All of this fades and will perish in light of Him! He is more famous than any of the places where my feet were planted. I thought of this as I was standing in line to see Mao's dead body. I thought, why am I wasting my time to see a man, a man who is called the Son of Heaven?? I know the True Son of Heaven, and this guy ain't him... What an incredible perspective to have in life; to know that we are here for His glory and not for our gain. He chose to allow me to see these things last week so that I might have a greater understanding of who He is and how He is working. If only I could have been thinking this way in my frustrating times last week (sheepish grin).
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Sitting Indian Style
I recently attended a yoga class at the gym on campus with my friend Buffy. I had done yoga in the past and have paid for DVDs that I have yet to crack open, but I had never been to a class in Shanghai. Since I'm not the avid yoga-er, I forgot my non-existent yoga mat at home. Luckily, some mats were provided, though the mats were all connected into one big mat at the back of the dance studio. I was actually quite thankful I was forced to bend and stretch in the back of the room... the Chinese naturally stare at me enough. However, since the wall we were facing happened to be a giant mirror, it was hard to escape their blatant glances. Needless to say, I was trying something new.
Buffy and I were the only two white faces out of 30 that joined the class that afternoon. For the first twenty minutes, as other women were still entering in, we ourselves were entering in to a state of relaxation. The Chinese women see this time as meditation for religious purposes. The first few minutes were pretty neat -- the Chinese instrumental relaxation music, the quiet... but then by the fourth minute, I opened my eyes and looked at Buffy. This is boring, I mouthed. She nodded in agreement. Little did I know it would continue for another 16 minutes. I'm not sure if it was my American way of wanting things to move a little quicker, or if it was just my natural ability to become easily distracted that caused me to realize how much I am in need of a pedicure. My toes are disgusting. I began to find other impurities, moving up to my legs, thinking, I need to shave. I haven't shaved in weeks. Buffy and I began to have an almost silent conversation about how it's been winter and it's too expensive for the good razors, so why waste your money when no one sees your legs anyways?
The next 16 minutes were spent mentally outside of that room for the two of us, our miming ranging from vanity to school assignments. I thought at one point I'd surely fall asleep... why not when my legs had already done so... I enjoyed the rest of the class, laughing at myself, and others to be quite honest, in these ridiculous positions. Since we don't speak Chinese, we had to look to the other women around us to see what to do, some of the time looking at them while our heads were upside down.
Later on that night, I was struck with some thoughts. This yoga class was in no way religious for me whatsoever though it might have appeared that way by my outward posture; I have no desire to follow the teachings of Buddha or Confucius. I began thinking of all the times I've brought a non-Chrstian friend with me to service in the States. I sit beside them, meditating and prying, singing songs that I just know will incline their hearts to grasp on to Life. I am suddenly discouraged when they leave unchanged. I now know that though their head might have been bowed, their heart was not. They looked to the others to see how to respond since they couldn't understand the language that was being spoken. They too might have been thinking of how much they were in need of a pedicure, or how they couldn't believe they walked out the door wearing a skirt and forgot to shave their legs.
Evangelism takes time. It takes patience. I always figured the lost friends who attended with me didn't understand much, but now I have a small picture of how far away their hearts really are. Thankfully, His word does not fall on deaf ears. Thankfully, His Spirit has the power to move and convict the hardened hearts. Buddha doesn't have that power. And neither does Confucius. It is imperative that I not lag in my efforts of reaching people, whether abroad or in the States. Their lives depend on it. They are spiritually contemplating things that have no significance, searching for something to fill their time, sleeping, and laughing at one's who believe, just like Buffy and me in that yoga class.
I love shifts in perspective. My eyes are so dry from all the wool that has been pulled over them, culturally speaking.
p.s. - I shaved my legs today.
Buffy and I were the only two white faces out of 30 that joined the class that afternoon. For the first twenty minutes, as other women were still entering in, we ourselves were entering in to a state of relaxation. The Chinese women see this time as meditation for religious purposes. The first few minutes were pretty neat -- the Chinese instrumental relaxation music, the quiet... but then by the fourth minute, I opened my eyes and looked at Buffy. This is boring, I mouthed. She nodded in agreement. Little did I know it would continue for another 16 minutes. I'm not sure if it was my American way of wanting things to move a little quicker, or if it was just my natural ability to become easily distracted that caused me to realize how much I am in need of a pedicure. My toes are disgusting. I began to find other impurities, moving up to my legs, thinking, I need to shave. I haven't shaved in weeks. Buffy and I began to have an almost silent conversation about how it's been winter and it's too expensive for the good razors, so why waste your money when no one sees your legs anyways?
The next 16 minutes were spent mentally outside of that room for the two of us, our miming ranging from vanity to school assignments. I thought at one point I'd surely fall asleep... why not when my legs had already done so... I enjoyed the rest of the class, laughing at myself, and others to be quite honest, in these ridiculous positions. Since we don't speak Chinese, we had to look to the other women around us to see what to do, some of the time looking at them while our heads were upside down.
Later on that night, I was struck with some thoughts. This yoga class was in no way religious for me whatsoever though it might have appeared that way by my outward posture; I have no desire to follow the teachings of Buddha or Confucius. I began thinking of all the times I've brought a non-Chrstian friend with me to service in the States. I sit beside them, meditating and prying, singing songs that I just know will incline their hearts to grasp on to Life. I am suddenly discouraged when they leave unchanged. I now know that though their head might have been bowed, their heart was not. They looked to the others to see how to respond since they couldn't understand the language that was being spoken. They too might have been thinking of how much they were in need of a pedicure, or how they couldn't believe they walked out the door wearing a skirt and forgot to shave their legs.
Evangelism takes time. It takes patience. I always figured the lost friends who attended with me didn't understand much, but now I have a small picture of how far away their hearts really are. Thankfully, His word does not fall on deaf ears. Thankfully, His Spirit has the power to move and convict the hardened hearts. Buddha doesn't have that power. And neither does Confucius. It is imperative that I not lag in my efforts of reaching people, whether abroad or in the States. Their lives depend on it. They are spiritually contemplating things that have no significance, searching for something to fill their time, sleeping, and laughing at one's who believe, just like Buffy and me in that yoga class.
I love shifts in perspective. My eyes are so dry from all the wool that has been pulled over them, culturally speaking.
p.s. - I shaved my legs today.
This just in... an update to pr-yer requests
Thank you so much for yarping*!
The spiritual oppression and dissension among some of the believers in the fellowship have been lifted! I am so thankful for the restoration and the healing that is taking place. I am really begging that He continue to move in and among us as we grow and work together, not allowing us to fall back on our weaknesses in the hard times, but keeping us focused on the things that are worth it.
The ELP (English Language Proficiency) testing was finished last week, and we survived! I had 14 students pass the test, which means they will be going into the 1st Grade English Track next year. For those students who are not native speakers, this is a great accomplishment! I am very proud of them and their efforts. We sent out the results on Friday, so hopefully my inbox will be void of hate mail, death threats or emails from exasperated parents protesting their child be re-tested Monday morning. Please continue to lift up this situation as our principal has to deal with much of the negative sides of the ELP testing process, to say the least.
Much of my furniture has been sold (though I won't be giving it all up until I absolutely no longer need it, of course). Thankfully, I won't have the trauma of getting rid of my things the week before my time expires here in Shanghai.
I am still wrestling with Him on what to do next year as I make this transition to come back to the States; He has yet to open any doors. I personally have a few doors in mind, doors I keep nervously dancing in front of, like a girl who desperately has to use the bathroom, hoping He'll open them. Perhaps the door He'll open is behind me, or maybe it's down the street and I have to walk a little ways before I get to it. I feel at this point, He is about to hand me a pair of Depends and tell me I'm not ready yet, so I might as well relieve myself. In any case, He'll provide.... eventually.
Some good news: We have May Holiday next week, and I'm venturing off to Beijing!! I leave on Tuesday night with Kendra and Vicki. We're taking a 13-hour overnight train in which we do not have sleepers... you already know I'll have something to report with that. I'll get to see, in no particular order, the Great Wall, Tienamen Square, Chairman Mao's dead body, the Summer Palace, and the Olympic Village. My friend Jennifer lives in Beijing, so she'll be taking us around to all the good shops! It's going to be nice to see a new American face.
We'll be coming back on Saturday. I'm notably happy about this trip, especially since it's our last vacation until school's out...
That's all for now. I'll catch up with you next weekend after I get back from my little excursion.
The spiritual oppression and dissension among some of the believers in the fellowship have been lifted! I am so thankful for the restoration and the healing that is taking place. I am really begging that He continue to move in and among us as we grow and work together, not allowing us to fall back on our weaknesses in the hard times, but keeping us focused on the things that are worth it.
The ELP (English Language Proficiency) testing was finished last week, and we survived! I had 14 students pass the test, which means they will be going into the 1st Grade English Track next year. For those students who are not native speakers, this is a great accomplishment! I am very proud of them and their efforts. We sent out the results on Friday, so hopefully my inbox will be void of hate mail, death threats or emails from exasperated parents protesting their child be re-tested Monday morning. Please continue to lift up this situation as our principal has to deal with much of the negative sides of the ELP testing process, to say the least.
Much of my furniture has been sold (though I won't be giving it all up until I absolutely no longer need it, of course). Thankfully, I won't have the trauma of getting rid of my things the week before my time expires here in Shanghai.
I am still wrestling with Him on what to do next year as I make this transition to come back to the States; He has yet to open any doors. I personally have a few doors in mind, doors I keep nervously dancing in front of, like a girl who desperately has to use the bathroom, hoping He'll open them. Perhaps the door He'll open is behind me, or maybe it's down the street and I have to walk a little ways before I get to it. I feel at this point, He is about to hand me a pair of Depends and tell me I'm not ready yet, so I might as well relieve myself. In any case, He'll provide.... eventually.
Some good news: We have May Holiday next week, and I'm venturing off to Beijing!! I leave on Tuesday night with Kendra and Vicki. We're taking a 13-hour overnight train in which we do not have sleepers... you already know I'll have something to report with that. I'll get to see, in no particular order, the Great Wall, Tienamen Square, Chairman Mao's dead body, the Summer Palace, and the Olympic Village. My friend Jennifer lives in Beijing, so she'll be taking us around to all the good shops! It's going to be nice to see a new American face.
We'll be coming back on Saturday. I'm notably happy about this trip, especially since it's our last vacation until school's out...
That's all for now. I'll catch up with you next weekend after I get back from my little excursion.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Liquid Gold
I took a taxi out to the import store today with a few friends of mine. I was on a mission to find something I have been missing for quite some time. After passing through much of the store, I finally reached the drink aisle. My eyes quickly scanned through all the bottles and cans of beverages hoping to find what I had came to buy. There it was; the 12-pack of Dr. Pepper was looming over me on the top shelf (the price was also looming at 102 kuai, equivalent to $13.50). I had to have Kendra help me in retrieving my liquid gold, so I suppose I owe her one can. I am now home, obviously, enjoying one of the twelve. We'll see how long they last in my fridge. I was hoping to come away with a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream as well, and I could have, I suppose... but they only had two flavors, neither of which was my favorite.
Next time you go to the store, pick up a 12-pack of Dr. Pepper just because you don't have to pay $13.50 for it.
Next time you go to the store, pick up a 12-pack of Dr. Pepper just because you don't have to pay $13.50 for it.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
For my faithful warriors
I wanted to share some things with you that you can be lifting up to Him in thought*.
China has really been in the news this year, especially now as Beijing will be hosting the 2008 Summer Olympic games in a few months. Because I can't go into great detail about political issues via this entry (besides the fact that most of you might even know more about this than I do), I'd just ask that you yarp* for this country and its people during this spotlight time. I know the media is having a field day with some of the events taking place, no pun intended. I just ask you would yarp* for the officials during this time and for the native Chinese (and foreigners) in their responses and actions. This is a big year for China to show the world what she is capable of, and things are not going as planned.
Yarp* for Tibet.
Yarp* for the Workers* in the parts of China that are not as developed as Shanghai. Ask that He give them peace and continued boldness to share their faith without fear. I ask that He would pierce hearts and reveal Himself in a mighty way. Yarp for those who are being persecuted, for where there is persecution, there is the advancement of the Good News. I yarp that through this, these faithful would remain strong and bold.
A bit closer to home, there has been spiritual oppression and dissension among some believers in our local fellowship. Please lift up the many leaders of the Body that they may have the grace and discernment to handle these matters. I also would ask that you lift up those who are in these situations, that we might be convicted and restored, seeking after the Truth daily so they might overcome in victory.
There is much change going on academically with our school's administration and faculty... The administration hasn't given us any details on this issue, but this is one request we as believers mention daily in our morning faculty meetings at the Kindergarten.
In relation to academics, the Kindergarten children will be taking the English Language Proficiency exam next week. We have set aside Tuesday - Friday to be testing days. This is the test they must pass in order to enter into the 1st Grade English Track at the Elementary school. There is a heavy amount of pressure on the K2 teachers -- I'm one of those teachers -- as we are wrapping up the material. Yarp* that we as teachers would not become discouraged this week. Yarp* for confidence and peace for both the children and teachers, and for the wisdom to know that this is out of our control; we can only do so much, and we must be faithful and diligent with the time we have left this week.
Personally, I have really been focusing on yarping* for peace and contentment in my situations and surroundings. I have been asking Him to surround me with a desire to know Him more and more, and to share that knowledge in love with those around me who need it just as much as I do. I so desperately need the attitude of Him to reflect in my actions.
Only a few more months remain for me in China... I am in the process of selling my furniture and little nick-nacks. Yarp* that that will go smoothly. Plus, I'm also in the middle of a job search in the States. Yarp* that He will give the discernment to know where He is leading me, should there be more than one open door.
Thanks for the sweet fragrant offering of thoughts* you lift to Him for this country and for me.
China has really been in the news this year, especially now as Beijing will be hosting the 2008 Summer Olympic games in a few months. Because I can't go into great detail about political issues via this entry (besides the fact that most of you might even know more about this than I do), I'd just ask that you yarp* for this country and its people during this spotlight time. I know the media is having a field day with some of the events taking place, no pun intended. I just ask you would yarp* for the officials during this time and for the native Chinese (and foreigners) in their responses and actions. This is a big year for China to show the world what she is capable of, and things are not going as planned.
Yarp* for Tibet.
Yarp* for the Workers* in the parts of China that are not as developed as Shanghai. Ask that He give them peace and continued boldness to share their faith without fear. I ask that He would pierce hearts and reveal Himself in a mighty way. Yarp for those who are being persecuted, for where there is persecution, there is the advancement of the Good News. I yarp that through this, these faithful would remain strong and bold.
A bit closer to home, there has been spiritual oppression and dissension among some believers in our local fellowship. Please lift up the many leaders of the Body that they may have the grace and discernment to handle these matters. I also would ask that you lift up those who are in these situations, that we might be convicted and restored, seeking after the Truth daily so they might overcome in victory.
There is much change going on academically with our school's administration and faculty... The administration hasn't given us any details on this issue, but this is one request we as believers mention daily in our morning faculty meetings at the Kindergarten.
In relation to academics, the Kindergarten children will be taking the English Language Proficiency exam next week. We have set aside Tuesday - Friday to be testing days. This is the test they must pass in order to enter into the 1st Grade English Track at the Elementary school. There is a heavy amount of pressure on the K2 teachers -- I'm one of those teachers -- as we are wrapping up the material. Yarp* that we as teachers would not become discouraged this week. Yarp* for confidence and peace for both the children and teachers, and for the wisdom to know that this is out of our control; we can only do so much, and we must be faithful and diligent with the time we have left this week.
Personally, I have really been focusing on yarping* for peace and contentment in my situations and surroundings. I have been asking Him to surround me with a desire to know Him more and more, and to share that knowledge in love with those around me who need it just as much as I do. I so desperately need the attitude of Him to reflect in my actions.
Only a few more months remain for me in China... I am in the process of selling my furniture and little nick-nacks. Yarp* that that will go smoothly. Plus, I'm also in the middle of a job search in the States. Yarp* that He will give the discernment to know where He is leading me, should there be more than one open door.
Thanks for the sweet fragrant offering of thoughts* you lift to Him for this country and for me.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
La Profesora de Espanol
I'm pretty excited tonight as I write this entry. As of yesterday, I am now a Spanish tutor for two Chinese boys, both of whom are in the 4th grade. How crazy weird is that?!
Our first lesson: the alphabet and numbers. Before beginning, I let them pick out a Spanish name from a list of names I had acquired online. Chale and Nicolas - those were the ones they wanted. I was secretly hoping for maybe a Pedro, Juan, Jose, Rico, Carlos, or even Ricky Martin... My Spanish name isn't too terribly exciting: Emilia.
To some of you, this tutoring job might sound a bit random, and honestly, it is. A fellow teacher friend of mine emailed me something she had found posted on the teacher bulletin board: Two boys looking to take Spanish or French lessons. I immediately called the number I had in the email. In a matter of one day, I was scheduled to teach. I asked the boys' mothers why they wanted to learn Spanish... they said their sons were gifted in learning English, so they figured they would just add on another language and give it a try. Here I am. This is divine appointment.
Over the past week and a half, I have had a piece of Spanish almost every day - overhearing a conversation in the dressing room at SuperBrand Mall; sitting next to a table of Spanish businessmen at Starbucks; hearing a Spanish song on the radio in the taxi; a man stopping me for directions who had a very distinguished Spanish accent; hearing a woman speak on her cellphone as she passed me; a couple speaking Spanish in the grocery store... That might be common in the States, but in China, that is almost unheard of (and for it to be so consistent...). I am desperate to be back in Latin America, but have needed China so much. The things that have happened to me here had to happen before I could see Latin America again... I love how He has placed within my Spirit a little piece of Latin America in my classroom two times a week. And just because He loves me.
I can't hope for Latin America so much that I miss out on Him or what He has left for me in China, but I can rejoice in the confirmation of the things that are yet to come.
Our first lesson: the alphabet and numbers. Before beginning, I let them pick out a Spanish name from a list of names I had acquired online. Chale and Nicolas - those were the ones they wanted. I was secretly hoping for maybe a Pedro, Juan, Jose, Rico, Carlos, or even Ricky Martin... My Spanish name isn't too terribly exciting: Emilia.
To some of you, this tutoring job might sound a bit random, and honestly, it is. A fellow teacher friend of mine emailed me something she had found posted on the teacher bulletin board: Two boys looking to take Spanish or French lessons. I immediately called the number I had in the email. In a matter of one day, I was scheduled to teach. I asked the boys' mothers why they wanted to learn Spanish... they said their sons were gifted in learning English, so they figured they would just add on another language and give it a try. Here I am. This is divine appointment.
Over the past week and a half, I have had a piece of Spanish almost every day - overhearing a conversation in the dressing room at SuperBrand Mall; sitting next to a table of Spanish businessmen at Starbucks; hearing a Spanish song on the radio in the taxi; a man stopping me for directions who had a very distinguished Spanish accent; hearing a woman speak on her cellphone as she passed me; a couple speaking Spanish in the grocery store... That might be common in the States, but in China, that is almost unheard of (and for it to be so consistent...). I am desperate to be back in Latin America, but have needed China so much. The things that have happened to me here had to happen before I could see Latin America again... I love how He has placed within my Spirit a little piece of Latin America in my classroom two times a week. And just because He loves me.
I can't hope for Latin America so much that I miss out on Him or what He has left for me in China, but I can rejoice in the confirmation of the things that are yet to come.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Homecoming
March 1, 2008. Today marks my seventh month in China.
It's been a while since I've written an entry, though luckily I've been able to correspond with most of you via email and my latest obsession: Skype!
I wanted to let all of you know that after much thought and prayer, I have made the decision to move back to the States in July, & you better be excited. :)
I have no idea where I'll be moving to, nor what I'll be doing once I get to where I'm going... but I know that He has spoken clearly and will provide for me in His timing. I am not wanting to move back, honestly; I was made for this. But right now, I am having to leave. Please keep me in your thoughts* as I prepare for this transition. I hope to start working on a masters program in education upon returning, get involved in a great Body of believers, as well as continue with teaching.
Chick-fil-A,
It'll be great seein you again. I've missed you.
4 months and counting,
Em
It's been a while since I've written an entry, though luckily I've been able to correspond with most of you via email and my latest obsession: Skype!
I wanted to let all of you know that after much thought and prayer, I have made the decision to move back to the States in July, & you better be excited. :)
I have no idea where I'll be moving to, nor what I'll be doing once I get to where I'm going... but I know that He has spoken clearly and will provide for me in His timing. I am not wanting to move back, honestly; I was made for this. But right now, I am having to leave. Please keep me in your thoughts* as I prepare for this transition. I hope to start working on a masters program in education upon returning, get involved in a great Body of believers, as well as continue with teaching.
Chick-fil-A,
It'll be great seein you again. I've missed you.
4 months and counting,
Em
Monday, January 14, 2008
Growing Pains
I was walking home from tutoring tonight and some thoughts began running through my mind. I'm so thankful that no one else was taking the same path through the Villas that I was or else they would have thought I had an imaginary friend in whom I was in dialog with. Sometimes, I am able to have a thought chain, one thought linking to the next, and I struggle in holding on to those thoughts just long enough before I can sit down to scramble them on the back of, though sometimes front of, an important receipt or type them hurriedly into my computer. As I was nearing the main road, my voice began to lower and my lips suddenly moved less and less further apart as I realized now that people would be able to see me.
As I was nearing my apartment, I found my friend Kendra sitting in the pizza shop, alone, though her winter accessories were still on. She was getting her food to go so she could head back to school to get some work done. I went in to chat with her for a bit. As I usually do, I began to unlink the chain that had just formed in my head. I'm glad I did; I was able to encourage her with my thoughts. She, in turn, encouraged me. Perhaps if I had kept on walking, she and I would have gotten our dinner but no encouragement, and I would have written down my chain of thoughts to you, only they would have been a smidgen more jumbled and a tad bit more messy.
My thought chain somehow linked itself to my first entry on this website. If you have not yet had a chance to read that one, please go back and read it before continuing on in this one, as it will make more sense to have read the first one first. :)
I just recently sent an email to my mother about a pryer request in her life. I gave her the verse, "Love the Lrd your Gd with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37. I began thinking, How am I living out that command? Am I doing an adequate job? Am I in a place at this point, today, where I can be giving such advice and not living it out?
excerpt from that first entry:
"Expansion
When a vision is planted within your spirit, there will always be some type of expansion. You can't be pregnant and not expand. Your thoughts and ideas turn to action - not everyone will be able to recognize the fact that your pregnant, but eventually, as the baby grows, you will expand. People around you will be able to physically see your vision growing and enlarging, forming a heartbeat. As time progresses, your vision will become clearer, being able to point out the fingers and toes. The vision has now become an obvious part of you, taking over and consuming your life. You'll have to get bigger clothes. Bigger clothes might be symbolic of new friends. Your old friends don't fit you anymore. You have outgrown them. Is it possible to keep wearing the same clothes while pregnant? Sure it is, but you'll find it quite uncomfortable."
I am growing, and I can feel the pressure. I have some clothes that I'm beginning to find uncomfortable - things in my heart that I cannot let go of (people, events and past horrible decisions), things in my soul that are hindering me from freely worshiping Him (worry, doubt, lack of patience), and things in my mind that I need to fix (self-image concept and my lack of organization and time management). It's time I packed those clothes away and put on my new, better-fitting clothes. I'm having a hard time, honestly. I'm struggling... "My spirit is willing, by my flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41. It's like I'm acting like a child in these certain areas, throwing a fit about having to give these clothes away, as if they're really what I want.
When I was a little girl, I liked to go grocery shopping with my mother, hoping she'd get me those animal cookies in the circus box with the stringed handle (I'd open them and the first thing I'd do was bite the heads off of every one of them, showing my mother as if I had done a good thing...) I so wished I could be tall like all the grown-ups around me. They could reach the cookies on their own. I liked to sit underneath the basket as we shopped; it was like my hide-away. I could see and not be seen, though my range of vision was a bit limited. The moment I commented on a stranger's choice of footwear, however, the secret was out. Even then, I really liked shoes.
I was thinking what it would be like if I tried the same thing now, as a 22-year-old. As a 5-year-old, I could fit under the basket and it was perfectly normal and acceptable to be there; I was a child. All the women in whom I would comment on would smile and politely say thank you as Mom rolled me on by, usually apologizing for my outburst. To sit under that basket now would be ridiculous. I wouldn't even try because it'd be a silly thought to think I could actually fit under one of those things anymore. How would the women respond to my compliments? Would they even take them, or would they be more preoccupied with the fact that a 22-year-old woman was sitting under a grocery basket, thus totally ignoring and disregarding the compliment?
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, and I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me..." I Corinthians 13:11. When a woman or man of faith begins to give encouragement or Truth from their lips, but are living their lives under a grocery basket, things don't line up. Others will not listen to your words. Why should they? You're acting like a crazy person. I need to encourage eyeball to eyeball. The vision within me is expanding, and I am being stretched. I think I might have pulled a muscle...
I have been so tired of going back and forth with this idea of growing up. I've beaten my dead horse long enough. I know others are desperate to hear me sing a new song, one in which the chorus is not filled with an occasional melody of doubt and mistrust. Rhetorical questions race through my mind as I talk things over with Him... Are You big enough to really change me? Are You big enough to take me out of this pattern, or is this something that I am going to keep battling for the rest of my life? Why can't I apply the same faith I had on that day I decided to move to China to the daily heart, soul and mind struggles here?.........(sigh). I sometimes feel that the girl you are prying for is not the same as the girl who is speaking to you through her words. Yet, even though I feel this way, and even though I move from the hand of my G-d sometimes, He does not move...
Here is my problem: I do not receive, because I do not believe. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask (Him) who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like the wave of the sea, blown and tossed about by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lrd; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:5-8
It's getting harder as I move closer to my vision.
I must live by revelation and not reaction.
The rest of I Corinthians 13 says, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
It's awesome to see here that what we know now is nothing in comparison to what we will know once we see our Maker face to face. Our trials, our disasters, our mistakes will be as nothing in light of Him. Our small vision that He has entrusted us with, because He loves us that much, will make much more sense on the Day of Completion than it does now. This expansion, these growing pains, are all worth it, though I do not fully know today my greater purpose, nor understand why He has chosen me. But like the end of the verse says, I am fully known. G-d knows what He is doing, so ironically in answer to my rhetorical questions, YES. YES He is big enough. All of this is for His glory and His praise because he is worthy of my everything.
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of Gd." I Corinthians 1:18.
I have His power, like every other believer, to overcome these pains and endure, daily seeking His wisdom that He so generously gives to those who believe. He has proved Himself in this entry alone, and that piece is satisfying for me tonight.
As I was nearing my apartment, I found my friend Kendra sitting in the pizza shop, alone, though her winter accessories were still on. She was getting her food to go so she could head back to school to get some work done. I went in to chat with her for a bit. As I usually do, I began to unlink the chain that had just formed in my head. I'm glad I did; I was able to encourage her with my thoughts. She, in turn, encouraged me. Perhaps if I had kept on walking, she and I would have gotten our dinner but no encouragement, and I would have written down my chain of thoughts to you, only they would have been a smidgen more jumbled and a tad bit more messy.
My thought chain somehow linked itself to my first entry on this website. If you have not yet had a chance to read that one, please go back and read it before continuing on in this one, as it will make more sense to have read the first one first. :)
I just recently sent an email to my mother about a pryer request in her life. I gave her the verse, "Love the Lrd your Gd with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37. I began thinking, How am I living out that command? Am I doing an adequate job? Am I in a place at this point, today, where I can be giving such advice and not living it out?
excerpt from that first entry:
"Expansion
When a vision is planted within your spirit, there will always be some type of expansion. You can't be pregnant and not expand. Your thoughts and ideas turn to action - not everyone will be able to recognize the fact that your pregnant, but eventually, as the baby grows, you will expand. People around you will be able to physically see your vision growing and enlarging, forming a heartbeat. As time progresses, your vision will become clearer, being able to point out the fingers and toes. The vision has now become an obvious part of you, taking over and consuming your life. You'll have to get bigger clothes. Bigger clothes might be symbolic of new friends. Your old friends don't fit you anymore. You have outgrown them. Is it possible to keep wearing the same clothes while pregnant? Sure it is, but you'll find it quite uncomfortable."
I am growing, and I can feel the pressure. I have some clothes that I'm beginning to find uncomfortable - things in my heart that I cannot let go of (people, events and past horrible decisions), things in my soul that are hindering me from freely worshiping Him (worry, doubt, lack of patience), and things in my mind that I need to fix (self-image concept and my lack of organization and time management). It's time I packed those clothes away and put on my new, better-fitting clothes. I'm having a hard time, honestly. I'm struggling... "My spirit is willing, by my flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41. It's like I'm acting like a child in these certain areas, throwing a fit about having to give these clothes away, as if they're really what I want.
When I was a little girl, I liked to go grocery shopping with my mother, hoping she'd get me those animal cookies in the circus box with the stringed handle (I'd open them and the first thing I'd do was bite the heads off of every one of them, showing my mother as if I had done a good thing...) I so wished I could be tall like all the grown-ups around me. They could reach the cookies on their own. I liked to sit underneath the basket as we shopped; it was like my hide-away. I could see and not be seen, though my range of vision was a bit limited. The moment I commented on a stranger's choice of footwear, however, the secret was out. Even then, I really liked shoes.
I was thinking what it would be like if I tried the same thing now, as a 22-year-old. As a 5-year-old, I could fit under the basket and it was perfectly normal and acceptable to be there; I was a child. All the women in whom I would comment on would smile and politely say thank you as Mom rolled me on by, usually apologizing for my outburst. To sit under that basket now would be ridiculous. I wouldn't even try because it'd be a silly thought to think I could actually fit under one of those things anymore. How would the women respond to my compliments? Would they even take them, or would they be more preoccupied with the fact that a 22-year-old woman was sitting under a grocery basket, thus totally ignoring and disregarding the compliment?
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, and I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me..." I Corinthians 13:11. When a woman or man of faith begins to give encouragement or Truth from their lips, but are living their lives under a grocery basket, things don't line up. Others will not listen to your words. Why should they? You're acting like a crazy person. I need to encourage eyeball to eyeball. The vision within me is expanding, and I am being stretched. I think I might have pulled a muscle...
I have been so tired of going back and forth with this idea of growing up. I've beaten my dead horse long enough. I know others are desperate to hear me sing a new song, one in which the chorus is not filled with an occasional melody of doubt and mistrust. Rhetorical questions race through my mind as I talk things over with Him... Are You big enough to really change me? Are You big enough to take me out of this pattern, or is this something that I am going to keep battling for the rest of my life? Why can't I apply the same faith I had on that day I decided to move to China to the daily heart, soul and mind struggles here?.........(sigh). I sometimes feel that the girl you are prying for is not the same as the girl who is speaking to you through her words. Yet, even though I feel this way, and even though I move from the hand of my G-d sometimes, He does not move...
Here is my problem: I do not receive, because I do not believe. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask (Him) who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like the wave of the sea, blown and tossed about by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lrd; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:5-8
It's getting harder as I move closer to my vision.
I must live by revelation and not reaction.
The rest of I Corinthians 13 says, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
It's awesome to see here that what we know now is nothing in comparison to what we will know once we see our Maker face to face. Our trials, our disasters, our mistakes will be as nothing in light of Him. Our small vision that He has entrusted us with, because He loves us that much, will make much more sense on the Day of Completion than it does now. This expansion, these growing pains, are all worth it, though I do not fully know today my greater purpose, nor understand why He has chosen me. But like the end of the verse says, I am fully known. G-d knows what He is doing, so ironically in answer to my rhetorical questions, YES. YES He is big enough. All of this is for His glory and His praise because he is worthy of my everything.
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of Gd." I Corinthians 1:18.
I have His power, like every other believer, to overcome these pains and endure, daily seeking His wisdom that He so generously gives to those who believe. He has proved Himself in this entry alone, and that piece is satisfying for me tonight.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
journal from Hong Kong and Macau
Now that the suspense has somewhat dwindled from the email I sent you last week, perhaps you'll actually be able to focus on what is written in this entry. Heh.
Sorry for the procrastination on this one --
Hong Kong was a great trip, and in fact, I wouldn't mind moving there, to be quite honest. Although it's now regained its status as part of China, one still needs a passport to go in and out. The same is true in regards to visiting Macau. Needless to say, I acquired 8 stamps in my passport over our 4-day vacation.
1. Leaving China
2. Entry into Hong Kong
3. Leaving Hong Kong
4. Entry into Macau
5. Leaving Macau
6. Re-entry into Hong Kong
7. Leaving Hong Kong
8. Re-entry into China
I think about those businessmen who live in Macau and work in Hong Kong... I wonder how many times they've had to get a new passport due to the accumulation of stamps? That would seemingly take all the joy out of getting your passport stamped.
Shanghai vs. HK
Shanghai is westernized, but the feeling of westernization here is more of a forced commercialized concept, as if Shanghai is the daughter of a workaholic father, vying for his attention, screaming, "Look at me!". Everything is flashy and gaudy and, just forced. I'm not sure how else to describe it. Though if you never knew HK, you might not have come to that conclusion.
Hong Kong's westernization is much more natural and cultural. Now, obviously, Hong Kong was under British rule for 100 years, so they sort of have a one-up on Shanghai. But the people in HK are more relaxed, cleaner, fashionable and appreciative of the things around them. HK is also a much more diverse and international city, which is one thing that really draws me in.
Perhaps it isn't fair to compare the two cities, but I couldn't really help it when I walked the streets. And, I suppose I should qualify that this is not a competition, only an observation.
HK was decorated so well for the holidays! The temperature was wonderful, which made it seem as though it wasn't actually Christmas. The average temperature during our 4-day stay was in or around the low 70s. My wardrobe consisted of t-shirts and jeans, my back sweating from the backpack in which I carried.
Hong Kong people speak Cantonese, another form of Chinese. HK has palm trees like Miami, and steep streets and trolley cars like San Fransisco. The steep streets were also filled with double-decker buses like England. Hong Kong people even drive on the opposite side of the road like they do in England. I remember noticing all the flowers, as well. The subway system, otherwise known as the Octopus (for whatever reason), is very nice and well-kept, though ridiculously busy and crowded like most everywhere in China. I noticed the subway stations are lined with an abnormal amount of bakeries, too. I really feel I like HK better than Shanghai, though not simply because of the bakeries.
Home Sweet Home
Our hostel was one in which most of you would not have wanted to stay in. Let me explain. Our hostel was on top of a sort of fake market run by Indian men. They sold watches and bags and had a small Indian food venue. The name of it was called Mirador Mansion, which is rather misleading. Each floor of this 16-story venue was sub-owned by others. We stayed on the 16th floor. Our owner's name was Apple, a woman from Shanghai who spoke really good English. We only payed 100RMB a night, per room (100 RMB is equivalent to $13). She hesitated in giving us official receipts because our floor was not licensed; we were staying on an illegal floor. Of course, we found out as we were checking out, by the way. Our floor was filled with a handful of men from Kenya and Ethiopia, most of them very creepy and quite forward, attempting to get our numbers so they could "show us around town." Riiight... Honestly, our hostel was pretty sketchy. Luckily only one unfortunate event happened: The guys' room was broken into while we were out one afternoon, the culprit getting away with $200 USD and a pocketknife. The guys had left their room unlocked because they couldn't find their key, so perhaps it was to be expected that something like that occur.
I'm sure my mother is freaking out at this point in the story.
We were able to go to a Christmas service in HK on Sunday night. The body* was actually in a huge office building on the 14th floor. The elevator door opened up right into the foyer. It was wonderful to be among fellow believers at such an important celebration of our faith.
The previous night, the praise team from the body* had put on a Christmas event in the center of downtown Hong Kong, complete with a huge Christmas tree and a jumbo screen for the words and video. Downtown was decorated for the season; the atmosphere was so refreshing. I remember dancing and singing as loud as I could with the other people who were attending... what a great China moment.
Interesting fun fact:
I was able to ride on the world's longest escalator ride while in HK.
http://www.4to40.com/recordbook/index.asp?id=414&category=human
Macau is a city known for its casinos, and yes, I did gamble 5 HKD while I was there. I, along with 3 other teachers, ventured to Macau on the Monday of our vacation, breaking away from the others who wanted to stay and see more of HK. I felt as if I had stepped into Latin America. The architecture there is phenomenal. It was once under the rule of Portugal, so Portuguese is one of its languages, along with English and Cantonese. I loved feeling immersed in a culture so similar to that of Spanish! I was able to read some signs and portions of pamphlets. We walked so much in Macau, stopping at every bright and colorful cathedral we passed. We made it back just in time to meet the rest of the group at Outback for our Christmas Eve dinner.
I spent Christmas Day away from the group, and though as sad as that might sound, I actually enjoyed myself, sitting in a Charlie Brown coffee shop listening to Christmas music. I walked more of the city and did some shopping, and I was even able to sit in a foreign bookstore flipping through a Spanish-English dictionary before meeting the group to head back to the airport.
I would have liked to mention everything we did over our holiday... Some of you are thinking, there's more?! :) We walked so much during this trip! It was hard yet very convenient to carry a backpack all weekend, especially when traveling through the airport and getting to skip the dreaded baggage claim.
Pictures are in the next post since this one was already getting pretty lengthy.
Enjoy!
Sorry for the procrastination on this one --
Hong Kong was a great trip, and in fact, I wouldn't mind moving there, to be quite honest. Although it's now regained its status as part of China, one still needs a passport to go in and out. The same is true in regards to visiting Macau. Needless to say, I acquired 8 stamps in my passport over our 4-day vacation.
1. Leaving China
2. Entry into Hong Kong
3. Leaving Hong Kong
4. Entry into Macau
5. Leaving Macau
6. Re-entry into Hong Kong
7. Leaving Hong Kong
8. Re-entry into China
I think about those businessmen who live in Macau and work in Hong Kong... I wonder how many times they've had to get a new passport due to the accumulation of stamps? That would seemingly take all the joy out of getting your passport stamped.
Shanghai vs. HK
Shanghai is westernized, but the feeling of westernization here is more of a forced commercialized concept, as if Shanghai is the daughter of a workaholic father, vying for his attention, screaming, "Look at me!". Everything is flashy and gaudy and, just forced. I'm not sure how else to describe it. Though if you never knew HK, you might not have come to that conclusion.
Hong Kong's westernization is much more natural and cultural. Now, obviously, Hong Kong was under British rule for 100 years, so they sort of have a one-up on Shanghai. But the people in HK are more relaxed, cleaner, fashionable and appreciative of the things around them. HK is also a much more diverse and international city, which is one thing that really draws me in.
Perhaps it isn't fair to compare the two cities, but I couldn't really help it when I walked the streets. And, I suppose I should qualify that this is not a competition, only an observation.
HK was decorated so well for the holidays! The temperature was wonderful, which made it seem as though it wasn't actually Christmas. The average temperature during our 4-day stay was in or around the low 70s. My wardrobe consisted of t-shirts and jeans, my back sweating from the backpack in which I carried.
Hong Kong people speak Cantonese, another form of Chinese. HK has palm trees like Miami, and steep streets and trolley cars like San Fransisco. The steep streets were also filled with double-decker buses like England. Hong Kong people even drive on the opposite side of the road like they do in England. I remember noticing all the flowers, as well. The subway system, otherwise known as the Octopus (for whatever reason), is very nice and well-kept, though ridiculously busy and crowded like most everywhere in China. I noticed the subway stations are lined with an abnormal amount of bakeries, too. I really feel I like HK better than Shanghai, though not simply because of the bakeries.
Home Sweet Home
Our hostel was one in which most of you would not have wanted to stay in. Let me explain. Our hostel was on top of a sort of fake market run by Indian men. They sold watches and bags and had a small Indian food venue. The name of it was called Mirador Mansion, which is rather misleading. Each floor of this 16-story venue was sub-owned by others. We stayed on the 16th floor. Our owner's name was Apple, a woman from Shanghai who spoke really good English. We only payed 100RMB a night, per room (100 RMB is equivalent to $13). She hesitated in giving us official receipts because our floor was not licensed; we were staying on an illegal floor. Of course, we found out as we were checking out, by the way. Our floor was filled with a handful of men from Kenya and Ethiopia, most of them very creepy and quite forward, attempting to get our numbers so they could "show us around town." Riiight... Honestly, our hostel was pretty sketchy. Luckily only one unfortunate event happened: The guys' room was broken into while we were out one afternoon, the culprit getting away with $200 USD and a pocketknife. The guys had left their room unlocked because they couldn't find their key, so perhaps it was to be expected that something like that occur.
I'm sure my mother is freaking out at this point in the story.
We were able to go to a Christmas service in HK on Sunday night. The body* was actually in a huge office building on the 14th floor. The elevator door opened up right into the foyer. It was wonderful to be among fellow believers at such an important celebration of our faith.
The previous night, the praise team from the body* had put on a Christmas event in the center of downtown Hong Kong, complete with a huge Christmas tree and a jumbo screen for the words and video. Downtown was decorated for the season; the atmosphere was so refreshing. I remember dancing and singing as loud as I could with the other people who were attending... what a great China moment.
Interesting fun fact:
I was able to ride on the world's longest escalator ride while in HK.
http://www.4to40.com/recordbook/index.asp?id=414&category=human
Macau is a city known for its casinos, and yes, I did gamble 5 HKD while I was there. I, along with 3 other teachers, ventured to Macau on the Monday of our vacation, breaking away from the others who wanted to stay and see more of HK. I felt as if I had stepped into Latin America. The architecture there is phenomenal. It was once under the rule of Portugal, so Portuguese is one of its languages, along with English and Cantonese. I loved feeling immersed in a culture so similar to that of Spanish! I was able to read some signs and portions of pamphlets. We walked so much in Macau, stopping at every bright and colorful cathedral we passed. We made it back just in time to meet the rest of the group at Outback for our Christmas Eve dinner.
I spent Christmas Day away from the group, and though as sad as that might sound, I actually enjoyed myself, sitting in a Charlie Brown coffee shop listening to Christmas music. I walked more of the city and did some shopping, and I was even able to sit in a foreign bookstore flipping through a Spanish-English dictionary before meeting the group to head back to the airport.
I would have liked to mention everything we did over our holiday... Some of you are thinking, there's more?! :) We walked so much during this trip! It was hard yet very convenient to carry a backpack all weekend, especially when traveling through the airport and getting to skip the dreaded baggage claim.
Pictures are in the next post since this one was already getting pretty lengthy.
Enjoy!
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